Better Off Forgotten
by Ferretess
Summary: Stiles is alone at a train station, not quite alive, not quite dead, and everyone he knows has forgotten him. Oh, and he's just realized that he's in love with his best friend who doesn't remember him and who he may never see again. Great. *season 6 spoilers*


A/N: This is a reupload, I originally posted it yesterday but the formatting was screwed up so here it is again.

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It had been two weeks.

Two weeks since Stiles was taken, ripped out of his Jeep, erased from reality. His friends didn't remember that he had ever existed. Liam didn't remember, Malia didn't remember, Lydia didn't remember, _Scott_ didn't remember. His own father had forgotten him.

Technically, Stiles had no real way of knowing this. He had been trapped in the train station for two weeks, trapped somewhere between reality and nonexistence. He was chained to a post; he could barely move, and even if he could, he could stand right in front of Scott and he wouldn't even know it. The Ghost Riders didn't talk to him. They didn't talk at all. At first, it had been horribly lonely - every victim that was there with him had been there too long, and had given up on ever escaping. Then he was joined by some girl he vaguely recognized from school, and though he had never known her before he was taken, Phoebe was a source of comfort for him. Before she was taken, she had forgotten him just as everyone else had, but now, in this alternate reality, she remembered him. Granted, all she knew was that he had existed, and she had seen him in the hallway before. She didn't even know whether his friends suspected he was missing. But it was something, and something was better than nothing.

All Stiles could do was hope. Those two weeks passed lethargically, feeling more like two months. He had been sitting on the floor of the train station for two weeks. No eating, no drinking, no walking, no reading, no sleeping, no talking save for a minimal amount upon Phoebe's arrival. But even she could only provide him with so much. She was shaken, traumatized, having never known about the supernatural, and as soon as Stiles informed her that everyone, including her sister, had forgotten her, all she could do was cry out for Gwen.

Stiles had been doing a lot of crying himself lately. It was all he could do, really, other than think. He missed his friends. He missed Lydia, the only one who had any chance of remembering him. He missed his dad, wondered how he was coping alone. He missed Melissa, the closest to a living mother he had. Hell, he even missed his teachers. But more than anyone, he missed Scott, who understood him more than anyone.

It had taken him a long time to realize this, but he didn't have a crush on Lydia anymore. He hadn't for a long time. In the two weeks Stiles spent sitting at the train station thinking, he tried to pin a date, but he couldn't. All he knew was that sometime between his time being possessed by the Nogitsune and the time he killed Donovan, his crush on Lydia had become a lie. He still acted like the crush had never gone away, in part because he hadn't realized that it had, in part because he was trying to cover up the truth: he was in love with Scott.

Yep, Scott, his best friend, his brother. His _straight_ best friend, who had only just broken up with Kira. Stiles had been alright living with the crush when he didn't know about it. But now? A small part of him was _glad_ he was trapped outside of reality, where Scott didn't ever have to know. How could he know, when he didn't even know Stiles existed? It was for the better, really, him not knowing. He would never get the opportunity to laugh at Stiles, to say "you're joking, right?", to slowly lose the smile as Stiles has a panic attack and he realizes that no, he was not joking, to say "hey man, it's okay, you're still my best friend", but to never act like his best friend again, to be cold, awkward around him, to replace him with Liam, to forget about him naturally rather than because of the Ghost Riders.

But no, fuck, Stiles couldn't think like that. He couldn't. If he lost hope, he would lose himself, he would fade away even outside of reality. He had to keep believing that Scott would save him, that he would remember him, that he would come back for him like he always has. Because he would. Scott was assertive, resilient, perseverant. If he realized Stiles was missing, he would work himself to death until he got him back. And not to mention that he had Lydia, the smartest person Stiles had ever met. He didn't even know for sure that she had forgotten him. She still remembered him until the very second he was taken, so who's to say she didn't still remember him? It was possible, entirely possible. And if she remembered him, with her and Scott working together, there was no way Stiles was staying forgotten.

After all, this wasn't their first rodeo. It wasn't even their first time saving Stiles. They were still in the process of figuring out what they were dealing with and how to stop it, that was the only reason two weeks had passed. They would come for him. He was sure of it. All he had to do was try not to break, however long they may take.

But _fuck_ , how could he? Even if - when - they did come for him, he was fucked. Scott may remember him eventually, but how will Stiles ever face him? He was in love with his best friend, his _straight_ best friend, his _brother_. He was disgusting, and he knew it. He would never be able to face Scott without breaking down, having a panic attack, confessing everything. And if Scott hated him, how would he go on? Scott had been there for him forever, it seemed. And Scott's going to college in a few months. It wasn't confirmed yet, but Stiles knew he would. And where was Stiles? Procrastinating his college applications because he's too fucking scared to think of a future without Scott, without Lydia, without Malia, without his dad. But even then, even if they were miles apart, Scott still would have cared about Stiles, but no, he had to ruin everything by falling in love with his best friend.

He had to stop. He had to stop thinking like that. If he causes himself too much emotional distress, it'll be easier to break, and even if Scott is going to hate him, it would be even worse for Scott to finally find him, to make the necessary sacrifices to defeat the Ghost Riders, only to find a shell, a Stiles who had forgotten who he was like most of the others. It would break Scott. He was going to hate Stiles, but that would only make him angry. He'd get over it. If he was too late to save Stiles, he would never recover. He had to do it, for Scott. He had to remember who he was. He had to stay sane, stay calm, stay _alive_. He had to. He _had_ to.


End file.
